Laurus Nobilis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
laurus_nobilis) wrote2006-06-13 02:07 pm
laurus_nobilis) wrote2006-06-13 02:07 pm
Reflection on Still Water [XXXHOLiC; English]
Title: Reflection on Still Water
Rating: G
Genre: General / introspection / a little romance if you squint
Characters: Clow and Yuuko.
Pairings: Always.
Summary: Doubts about the past, certainties about the future, and a perfect moment near the ponds at Tsukimine Shrine.
Notes: Written for Insert Phrase. This one references a lot of Card Captor Sakura (manga) and a little of Tsubasa.
Reflection on Still Water
The night was warm and fragrant, perfect for a festival. Yuuko exhaled a contented sigh as they walked towards the shrine. She had been looking forward to do something fun at last, after all their work of the last few days. Besides, wearing new clothes always put her in a good mood, and Clow had only finished her yukata the previous afternoon. Now the butterflies on its pattern were dancing around her legs as she walked.
He had made one for himself, too. It was rare to see him dressed so simply. The design was plain, with stripes in different shades of blue, but it suited him. Yuuko caught herself wondering why didn't he wear this kind of clothes more often instead of his usual layers of silk.
“This is the place,” he said suddenly, as they reached the entrance of Tsukimine Shrine. “This is it.”
If she hadn't known him better, Yuuko would have teased him about stating the obvious. But that look on his eyes was unmistakeable. She could tell that he had seen this before.
“Is that why you wanted to come?” she asked, giving him a sly look. Clow grinned at her.
“You know I always have an ulterior motive.”
“Always,” she agreed, grinning back at him as they crossed the gate.
It was already crowded. A sea of people filled the shrine with noise and colour, chatting with each other, eating and playing. Yuuko wanted to try everything. She dragged Clow all over the place, making him spend a ridiculous amount of money on games and treats, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he even bought extra food to take home.
“I'll never hear the end of it if I don't bring something to Cerberus,” he explained. “Preferably something edible.”
“You're spoiling him,” she pointed out. “Where's your authority? You twist the fate of worlds, and you can't control an oversized kitty?”
“I can tell when you aren't being serious, you know,” he said mildly, but smiled nonetheless. “Also, I think I'm spoiling you too much right now. I should choose what to do next, don't you think?”
“What do you have in mind?” she asked.
“Let's go to see the ponds.”
He lead the way as if he knew the place already. It was the kind of attitude that made Yuuko wonder, sometimes, exactly how detailed his visions were. He didn't hesitate for a second as he walked through the crowd. Soon enough, they left the other people behind and found themselves alone; the silence was a welcome change. A perfectly calm pond awaited them. There were no carps in it, and the moon was reflected on the still water.
“This is for scrying,” Yuuko said, confused, as she looked up at him. “You don't need this.”
Clow didn't seem to have heard her.
“She will come here often,” he said, his gaze lost over the dark surface.
“The woman of the bell?” she asked, and her voice sounded a little more annoyed than she had intended. Clow turned around and looked at her. Of course, she though, that he noticed. It was unnerving.
“Yes. She is a very beautiful redhead, in fact,” he told her teasingly.
“Idiot,” Yuuko muttered. He grinned, but didn't say anything else about it.
“So many things will happen in this shrine,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I can feel that child's power everywhere. In here, she will discover her star.”
For a moment, she didn't say a word, and simply watched him. He hadn't opened his eyes again. She still found it a little strange to see him like this, the way he got when he started thinking of that girl... He loved her. Both of them cared about those children, of course, about all of them; but what Clow felt for her was somehow deeper. He truly, honestly loved her. And there was a certain weight in Yuuko's heart when she thought that he would never meet her, that she'd never be more than a distant dream for him. She wondered how could he live with that. After all, he had always been too soft for his own good...
Her gaze strayed towards the pond and the reflection of the moon on its surface. Then, perhaps because she had been thinking about her, it was the girl that she saw. Cerberus and Yue were there, with another boy, and that priestess – she was very beautiful, Yuuko realised. The vision lasted only for a moment, but it was enough. She understood.
“She will never truly be at risk, will she?” she said, not quite realizing that she was thinking aloud. Clow turned around sharply, and he looked horrified at her words.
“I am not a monster!” he said. “Do you think that I would let such a thing happen to her? That I'd be like – like him?”
Yuuko didn't reply immediately, taken aback by his reaction. At last she put a hand on his arm, soothing, and shook her head.
“That isn't what I said,” she told him. “I know you. I know you're not like that. I just... I've just seen that moment. That's all.”
He seemed relieved to hear that, but there was still worry in his eyes. He looked away, frowning.
“She must earn her place on her own, and the Guardians must accept her. But I cannot let her lose the Judgement,” he whispered. “The catastrophe is real.”
“Why?” she asked him. He chuckled, still without facing her, and it was a bitter sound.
“Because there was a time, long ago,” he answered, “when I truly felt that I would live forever. That they would never need anyone else. And that, if something unexpected were to happen, this would be the best for them.”
“Clow...”
“I was selfish, when I made them,” he continued, without giving her time to go on. “I looked far ahead, but not far enough. But at least I know that they will love her. Far more, I think, than they could ever love me. She can truly be their friend, you see, she can make things simple for them... and they will never need to ask themselves why she made them, or if she was thinking only of herself when she did.”
“They do love you,” Yuuko told him. “Don't ever doubt that.”
“I know they do. What I wonder is if they ever had a choice,” said Clow. “There were so many things I didn't think of, back then...”
“You were young,” she replied.
“I was lonely.”
That was something she hadn't expected to hear. It seemed impossible to believe what he had just done – making himself vulnerable, showing weakness. Even if it was one that she had seen in him long ago. To hear him admit it... She wanted to say something, but didn't trust her own words. What was there to say? She just held his hand, a simple but much more meaningful gesture. He turned around and smiled softly at her.
“This was supposed to be a happy evening,” he said. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be silly,” she told him, and kissed him on the cheek. “You just think too much, that's all.”
“I do, perhaps. But how does one stop thinking?” he asked, with a tired sigh. Yuuko shook her head at him.
“See, that is why I say you're too complicated,” she laughed. “You just do. Forget about the things to come, even if it's just for a moment. Don't miss the present, Clow.”
“The present goes away so quickly,” he told her.
“It doesn't matter,” Yuuko said. She smiled at him and took a few strands of hair off his eyes. “We have this now.”
“And that is enough...” he said, hesitating. It sounded almost like a question. Of course not, she wanted to answer, I want these days to last forever and ever. But she was far too reasonable for that.
“It should be,” she replied. “Come on, don't you think this is a beautiful night? Are you just going to brood and ruin it?”
“You give me so little credit, Yuuko,” he told her, with the hint of a grin starting to show. “The night is far from over yet.”
As soon as he had said that, he reached for his Cards and whispered something to Glow. The tiny sprite soared all around them and even beyond the trees, spreading spheres of a greenish light everywhere she went.
“People are going to wonder,” Yuuko said, but she didn't really mind. It was such a lovely sight, after all; like fireflies, but even better. The bright dots floated in between the trees' branches, reflected themselves over the ponds...
She turned to Clow to say something, but her words died, forgotten, the moment she saw him. He was smiling, staring at a sphere that hovered a little over his hand. He had that particular look again, the same as always, and even if she had managed to remember what she wanted to tell him he probably wouldn't have heard. Yuuko knew, then, that she could never really keep him in the present; not completely. It had been arrogant to think that she could, she realized – she had known from the beginning, after all, that she was not the one who would grant him his wish. For better or worse, in this life he would remain forever a little distant, one step beyond. It was a fact that not even she could change.
“She always knows how to make people happy,” he said softly. In the end, it was he who turned around to look at her, smiling.
It was a perfect moment. So she just stopped thinking, and smiled back.
Rating: G
Genre: General / introspection / a little romance if you squint
Characters: Clow and Yuuko.
Pairings: Always.
Summary: Doubts about the past, certainties about the future, and a perfect moment near the ponds at Tsukimine Shrine.
Notes: Written for Insert Phrase. This one references a lot of Card Captor Sakura (manga) and a little of Tsubasa.
The night was warm and fragrant, perfect for a festival. Yuuko exhaled a contented sigh as they walked towards the shrine. She had been looking forward to do something fun at last, after all their work of the last few days. Besides, wearing new clothes always put her in a good mood, and Clow had only finished her yukata the previous afternoon. Now the butterflies on its pattern were dancing around her legs as she walked.
He had made one for himself, too. It was rare to see him dressed so simply. The design was plain, with stripes in different shades of blue, but it suited him. Yuuko caught herself wondering why didn't he wear this kind of clothes more often instead of his usual layers of silk.
“This is the place,” he said suddenly, as they reached the entrance of Tsukimine Shrine. “This is it.”
If she hadn't known him better, Yuuko would have teased him about stating the obvious. But that look on his eyes was unmistakeable. She could tell that he had seen this before.
“Is that why you wanted to come?” she asked, giving him a sly look. Clow grinned at her.
“You know I always have an ulterior motive.”
“Always,” she agreed, grinning back at him as they crossed the gate.
It was already crowded. A sea of people filled the shrine with noise and colour, chatting with each other, eating and playing. Yuuko wanted to try everything. She dragged Clow all over the place, making him spend a ridiculous amount of money on games and treats, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he even bought extra food to take home.
“I'll never hear the end of it if I don't bring something to Cerberus,” he explained. “Preferably something edible.”
“You're spoiling him,” she pointed out. “Where's your authority? You twist the fate of worlds, and you can't control an oversized kitty?”
“I can tell when you aren't being serious, you know,” he said mildly, but smiled nonetheless. “Also, I think I'm spoiling you too much right now. I should choose what to do next, don't you think?”
“What do you have in mind?” she asked.
“Let's go to see the ponds.”
He lead the way as if he knew the place already. It was the kind of attitude that made Yuuko wonder, sometimes, exactly how detailed his visions were. He didn't hesitate for a second as he walked through the crowd. Soon enough, they left the other people behind and found themselves alone; the silence was a welcome change. A perfectly calm pond awaited them. There were no carps in it, and the moon was reflected on the still water.
“This is for scrying,” Yuuko said, confused, as she looked up at him. “You don't need this.”
Clow didn't seem to have heard her.
“She will come here often,” he said, his gaze lost over the dark surface.
“The woman of the bell?” she asked, and her voice sounded a little more annoyed than she had intended. Clow turned around and looked at her. Of course, she though, that he noticed. It was unnerving.
“Yes. She is a very beautiful redhead, in fact,” he told her teasingly.
“Idiot,” Yuuko muttered. He grinned, but didn't say anything else about it.
“So many things will happen in this shrine,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I can feel that child's power everywhere. In here, she will discover her star.”
For a moment, she didn't say a word, and simply watched him. He hadn't opened his eyes again. She still found it a little strange to see him like this, the way he got when he started thinking of that girl... He loved her. Both of them cared about those children, of course, about all of them; but what Clow felt for her was somehow deeper. He truly, honestly loved her. And there was a certain weight in Yuuko's heart when she thought that he would never meet her, that she'd never be more than a distant dream for him. She wondered how could he live with that. After all, he had always been too soft for his own good...
Her gaze strayed towards the pond and the reflection of the moon on its surface. Then, perhaps because she had been thinking about her, it was the girl that she saw. Cerberus and Yue were there, with another boy, and that priestess – she was very beautiful, Yuuko realised. The vision lasted only for a moment, but it was enough. She understood.
“She will never truly be at risk, will she?” she said, not quite realizing that she was thinking aloud. Clow turned around sharply, and he looked horrified at her words.
“I am not a monster!” he said. “Do you think that I would let such a thing happen to her? That I'd be like – like him?”
Yuuko didn't reply immediately, taken aback by his reaction. At last she put a hand on his arm, soothing, and shook her head.
“That isn't what I said,” she told him. “I know you. I know you're not like that. I just... I've just seen that moment. That's all.”
He seemed relieved to hear that, but there was still worry in his eyes. He looked away, frowning.
“She must earn her place on her own, and the Guardians must accept her. But I cannot let her lose the Judgement,” he whispered. “The catastrophe is real.”
“Why?” she asked him. He chuckled, still without facing her, and it was a bitter sound.
“Because there was a time, long ago,” he answered, “when I truly felt that I would live forever. That they would never need anyone else. And that, if something unexpected were to happen, this would be the best for them.”
“Clow...”
“I was selfish, when I made them,” he continued, without giving her time to go on. “I looked far ahead, but not far enough. But at least I know that they will love her. Far more, I think, than they could ever love me. She can truly be their friend, you see, she can make things simple for them... and they will never need to ask themselves why she made them, or if she was thinking only of herself when she did.”
“They do love you,” Yuuko told him. “Don't ever doubt that.”
“I know they do. What I wonder is if they ever had a choice,” said Clow. “There were so many things I didn't think of, back then...”
“You were young,” she replied.
“I was lonely.”
That was something she hadn't expected to hear. It seemed impossible to believe what he had just done – making himself vulnerable, showing weakness. Even if it was one that she had seen in him long ago. To hear him admit it... She wanted to say something, but didn't trust her own words. What was there to say? She just held his hand, a simple but much more meaningful gesture. He turned around and smiled softly at her.
“This was supposed to be a happy evening,” he said. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be silly,” she told him, and kissed him on the cheek. “You just think too much, that's all.”
“I do, perhaps. But how does one stop thinking?” he asked, with a tired sigh. Yuuko shook her head at him.
“See, that is why I say you're too complicated,” she laughed. “You just do. Forget about the things to come, even if it's just for a moment. Don't miss the present, Clow.”
“The present goes away so quickly,” he told her.
“It doesn't matter,” Yuuko said. She smiled at him and took a few strands of hair off his eyes. “We have this now.”
“And that is enough...” he said, hesitating. It sounded almost like a question. Of course not, she wanted to answer, I want these days to last forever and ever. But she was far too reasonable for that.
“It should be,” she replied. “Come on, don't you think this is a beautiful night? Are you just going to brood and ruin it?”
“You give me so little credit, Yuuko,” he told her, with the hint of a grin starting to show. “The night is far from over yet.”
As soon as he had said that, he reached for his Cards and whispered something to Glow. The tiny sprite soared all around them and even beyond the trees, spreading spheres of a greenish light everywhere she went.
“People are going to wonder,” Yuuko said, but she didn't really mind. It was such a lovely sight, after all; like fireflies, but even better. The bright dots floated in between the trees' branches, reflected themselves over the ponds...
She turned to Clow to say something, but her words died, forgotten, the moment she saw him. He was smiling, staring at a sphere that hovered a little over his hand. He had that particular look again, the same as always, and even if she had managed to remember what she wanted to tell him he probably wouldn't have heard. Yuuko knew, then, that she could never really keep him in the present; not completely. It had been arrogant to think that she could, she realized – she had known from the beginning, after all, that she was not the one who would grant him his wish. For better or worse, in this life he would remain forever a little distant, one step beyond. It was a fact that not even she could change.
“She always knows how to make people happy,” he said softly. In the end, it was he who turned around to look at her, smiling.
It was a perfect moment. So she just stopped thinking, and smiled back.