Laurus Nobilis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
laurus_nobilis) wrote2006-01-01 05:26 pm
laurus_nobilis) wrote2006-01-01 05:26 pm
Just Like Smoke [XXXHOLiC; English]
Title: Just Like Smoke
Rating: PG-13 for opium
Genre: Instrospection / romance / angst
Pairings: Clow/Yuuko
Summary: Nothing lasts too long for Clow Reed.
Notes: Written for Insert Phrase. A serious one, finally!
It might be the opium, he thinks, what makes her seem so unreal. She looks distant, watching the smoke drift slowly around her, lost in who knows what thoughts; more beautiful than ever, in his eyes. They are sharing her pipe and it almost feels like a kiss.
He won't take any further risks, not yet. Not until he can't help it anymore. He knows that this joy will be short-lived, that any step forward will bring him closer to the end.
You are going to lose this, a voice on the back of his mind repeats. You are going to lose this very soon.
He almost wants to run away, sometimes, to give up everything and just run away. But he knows he can't do that. He needs to stay with her; they have many things to take care of, many people to protect. This is not the time or the place for their own happiness.
He watches her now, but she is looking away, not even noticing his stare. She is unreadable. He wonders if she sees what he sees, if she is aware that their love and its death cannot be stopped.
She probably does, he thinks. She pretends to hate him sometimes. She might be playing with him, or she might believe her own words, or she might be trying, like he is, to run away. He likes the uncertainty.
Their eyes meet for an instant when she turns to take the pipe from him. He would kiss her, if he dared, but it is not the time yet.
So he speaks to her instead, the only thing he can do to prevent her from looking away. He tells her about his plans for the little girl again, the details she still doesn't know, the reasons why it means so much to him. He can blame it on the opium later, when she teases him about it; he can pretend he doesn't realize that he's babbling just so she will listen.
"You are insane," she tells him. And yet she smiles at him, with an affection he rarely sees in her.
"Perhaps," he replies, "but it will work."
She doesn't answer, but her smile stays, and she pats his head as if he was a small child. At times like these, he feels that she pities him a little.
He doesn't mind it. No matter what she thinks of him, he knows that she understands him, better than anyone ever has; she knows where he is coming from, why he does the things he does. She doesn't always agree - and that is part of her charm on him, perhaps the greatest part - but she understands.
They must be together, he thinks, somewhere in one of infinite worlds. There must be a time and place for their love, even if it is not here and now.
The thought isn't as comforting as it should.
Rating: PG-13 for opium
Genre: Instrospection / romance / angst
Pairings: Clow/Yuuko
Summary: Nothing lasts too long for Clow Reed.
Notes: Written for Insert Phrase. A serious one, finally!
It might be the opium, he thinks, what makes her seem so unreal. She looks distant, watching the smoke drift slowly around her, lost in who knows what thoughts; more beautiful than ever, in his eyes. They are sharing her pipe and it almost feels like a kiss.
He won't take any further risks, not yet. Not until he can't help it anymore. He knows that this joy will be short-lived, that any step forward will bring him closer to the end.
You are going to lose this, a voice on the back of his mind repeats. You are going to lose this very soon.
He almost wants to run away, sometimes, to give up everything and just run away. But he knows he can't do that. He needs to stay with her; they have many things to take care of, many people to protect. This is not the time or the place for their own happiness.
He watches her now, but she is looking away, not even noticing his stare. She is unreadable. He wonders if she sees what he sees, if she is aware that their love and its death cannot be stopped.
She probably does, he thinks. She pretends to hate him sometimes. She might be playing with him, or she might believe her own words, or she might be trying, like he is, to run away. He likes the uncertainty.
Their eyes meet for an instant when she turns to take the pipe from him. He would kiss her, if he dared, but it is not the time yet.
So he speaks to her instead, the only thing he can do to prevent her from looking away. He tells her about his plans for the little girl again, the details she still doesn't know, the reasons why it means so much to him. He can blame it on the opium later, when she teases him about it; he can pretend he doesn't realize that he's babbling just so she will listen.
"You are insane," she tells him. And yet she smiles at him, with an affection he rarely sees in her.
"Perhaps," he replies, "but it will work."
She doesn't answer, but her smile stays, and she pats his head as if he was a small child. At times like these, he feels that she pities him a little.
He doesn't mind it. No matter what she thinks of him, he knows that she understands him, better than anyone ever has; she knows where he is coming from, why he does the things he does. She doesn't always agree - and that is part of her charm on him, perhaps the greatest part - but she understands.
They must be together, he thinks, somewhere in one of infinite worlds. There must be a time and place for their love, even if it is not here and now.
The thought isn't as comforting as it should.